Out of my personal experience, from my parents and now being a parent, I can say that I would take parenthood over friendship. In itself friendship with your child is not a bad thing, and there are elements of friendship that are healthy for parents to have in the relationship with their children. But if it is more important for you to be your child's friend than it is to be their parent, then we as parents have to get over ourselves and understand that this is not a worldly social order set into motion, but a God-ordained placement that we have been blessed with to train up and raise disciples.
I can say that I love my parents, and that we can have conversations about almost everything. I can think back 15 years ago, when it was the worst thing ever to be friends with your parents, and now appreciate how my parents didn't go over the top to try to be my friend over being my parent. I can think of things that we shared in a friendship way, but at the same time I respected them more than I did my "friends" at that time in my life. I'm not saying by any means that I am perfect, or that my parents were/are perfect. But God placed me into my family for me to become the man/father that I am today.
Proverbs 22:6 tells us to "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. (NASB) This come right after Proverbs 22:1 which explains godly character to us: "A good name is to be more desired that great wealth, Favor is better that silver and gold. (NASB)
Solomon was reminding us that we are exhibit godly character so that when we "raise" our children (not befriend) they will take on godly characteristics as they grow. Ultimately so that they will gain favor. First from God, Second from man. Jesus Himself did this. Luke 2:52 tells us: And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor of God and man.(NASB) It it was important for Jesus himself to receive earthly guidance so that He would keep the favor of God and men around Him, then why wouldn't it be important for our children?
When we choose to be their friend, over being their parent then we are actively telling God "Your model isn't good enough for my family." How arrogant can we be? We all want the best for our children, but we have to stop thinking that we know best. We have to rely on the fact that God knows best. If we want to show godly character and to model having God's favor, then we need to fully surrender ourselves to the Lord so our children will have a living,breathing model of obedience.
Are your children worth the price of your obedience? My question ought to be "Is Christ's sacrifice deserving of your obedience?" I say YES! When our children see us model a lifestyle that is anything other than obedient, they see "Christians" set a standard for themselves, and their families. This is one reason that our local churches are dying. Thom Rainer, is quoted in saying, "When the preferences of the church members are greater than their passion for the Gospel, the church is dying." When we put what we want over what God's redemptive story tells us then we are wrong on the greatest level.
I am not the greatest parent by any means, but I desire to be obedient to the Lord. I desire for my children to come into a relationship with the Lord, and be obedient to he call that He puts on their lives. Then I can call Rani, my sister in Christ. I can call Andrew & Jonas my brothers in Christ. And when we are before The Throne of Christ, then we can not focus on parenthood, or friendship but focus on Christ!
